Exam Stress and Suicide Prevention: A Guide for Parents and Students

Every year, as the dates for Boards, JEE, and NEET approach, a dark cloud settles over Indian families. We see the headlines from Kota. We hear the tragic whispers in our neighborhoods. And every parent thinks: “God forbid, that should never happen to my child.”

But hope is not a strategy. In India, we have normalized a culture where Academic Rank = Self Worth. We tell our children, “If you don’t crack this exam, your life is ruined.” We might say it to motivate them, but to a 17-year-old brain, it sounds like a death sentence.

As a Clinical Psychologist, I want to be very clear: No exam is worth a life. Suicide is not a sign of “cowardice” or “weakness.” It is a sign of Tunnel Vision—a psychological state where the person is in so much pain that death looks like the only exit.

Here is how to spot the danger and stop it.

The “Traffic Light” System: Is it Stress or Danger?

Stress is normal. Distress is dangerous. Use this system to check where the student stands.

• 🟢 Green Zone (Healthy Stress):
  • Signs: Nervousness, studying long hours, saying “I’m scared of the paper.”
  • Behavior: Still eats, still laughs at a joke, still talks to friends.
  • Action: Encouragement and good food.
• 🟡 Yellow Zone (Burnout):
  • Signs: Irritability, crying spells, saying “I can’t do this anymore.”
  • Behavior: Skipping meals, disturbed sleep, withdrawing from family.
  • Action: Mandatory break. Talk to them. Reduce the pressure.
• 🔴 Red Zone (Danger/Suicidal Intent):
  • Signs: Hopelessness (“What’s the point of living?”), giving away possessions, sudden unexplained calmness after a period of depression.
  • Behavior: Complete isolation, self-harm marks, searching for suicide methods online.
  • Action: Immediate Professional Intervention. Do not leave them alone.

For Parents: Stop the “Comparison Trap”

Your intention is to push them to excellence. But your words might be pushing them to the edge.

1. Watch Your Language

• Don’t Say: “Look at Sharma ji’s son. He studies 18 hours.”
• Do Say: “I see you are working hard. I am proud of your effort, regardless of the result.”
• Don’t Say: “If you fail, what will we tell the relatives?”
• Do Say: “Our family loves YOU, not your rank. We will figure out a path no matter what happens.”

2. Be a Safety Net, Not a Drill Sergeant When a child is failing, they need to know they can come home. If they fear your anger more than the exam, they will hide their pain until it breaks them. Tell them explicitly: “Even if you get a zero, you are still my child and I love you.”

For Students: The “Tunnel Vision” Trap

If you are reading this and feeling like there is no way out: Please listen.

Your brain is playing a trick on you called Tunnel Vision. Stress narrows your view. You can only see the Exam. You can’t see the 60 years of life after the exam. You can’t see the travel, the love, the food, and the joy waiting for you.

1. The “15-Minute Rule” Suicidal urges are like waves. They peak, and then they crash. They are temporary. If you feel like hurting yourself, promise yourself: “I will wait 15 minutes before doing anything.” In those 15 minutes, do one thing to change your state: Splash cold water on your face, run up the stairs, or call a friend.

2. This is Just a Chapter, Not the Whole Book I know it feels like the end of the world. But talk to anyone over 30. They will tell you: “I failed exams too, and I am happy now.” Your life is a 400-page book. This exam is just Page 45. Do not close the book just because one page is messy.

Where to Get Help (Right Now)

If you or your friend is in the Red Zone, do not wait.

• Government Helpline (24/7): Call Tele-MANAS at 14416. It is free, confidential, and available in all Indian languages.
• Vent Your Fear (VentOut): If you are just overwhelmed and need to cry without your parents knowing, talk to us. Our listeners are here to hold your pain so you don’t have to carry it alone. Chat Anonymously Now
• Check Your Stress Level (PsychKit): Are you burnt out? Take the Perceived Stress Scale (PSS). Show the result to your parents to help them understand you are struggling. Take the Stress Test
• Find a Student Counselor (IndianPsychologists): If the anxiety is paralyzing, you need a psychologist who specializes in Academic Stress. Find a Student Counselor

Final Thought

To the Student: You are enough. Just as you are. Without the rank. Without the degree. To the Parent: Hug your child today. Not for what they achieved, but just because they exist. Let’s ensure every child makes it to the other side of the exam season alive.

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📚 References & Further Reading

1. National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) – Accidental Deaths & Suicides in India (Student Suicide Statistics).
2. American Psychological Association – Teens and Stress: How to keep it in check.
3. NCERT Guidelines – Early Identification and Intervention for Mental Health Problems in School Going Children.